At the beginning of September, I wrote a post about The Ugly side of our Homeschool. You can read that here.

It’s been a month since I wrote that, and I would say things have improved, but we are overall still working on the heart issue of having a good attitude towards school work. It is still a work in progress, but we will always be a work in progress! That’s how life is and when it all comes down to it, I am thankful I get to be here in the trenches with my children, helping to mold and direct their hearts towards Jesus. Some days are just plain ugly. Tempers flare and frustrations are rampant, but here is what we have done to try and bring calm back to our family.

Let me just stop here and say this as well. This past year has been extremely difficult for our family with the addition of Sarge. Those circumstances totally rocked our world and turned everything upside down. A year later and I feel like we are just now able to start putting our family back together by finding a new normal! I know some of the issues we’ve had with the girls over the past year are directly related to the turmoil our family was in. We could not parent like we wanted as we were simultaneously getting Sarge healthy. Our family operated in Survival mode for the better part of a year and it has taken it’s toll on all of us. Especially the girls. As we’ve moved out of Survival Mode, I feel we are moving into a season of reclaiming our family and the expectations we have for our children. I remember in the past having seasons with the girls where everything was just routine and there were no real problems to deal with. Our family just flowed easily through life. We haven’t had a season like that since Sarge’s birth. It’s all been difficult and challenging, but now that Sarge is 1 year old and his health concerns are stable, I think we are on the verge of finding our new normal as a family of five.

Here is a list of the changes we’ve made over the past month that have made a positive impact on our Homeschool and overall family dynamic:

1. Work first, and then play.

I was allowing the girls to have some playtime after breakfast and before we started school. This was working well until it started causing problems with starting school. Little Bug especially would not want to stop playing to start school and because I do prioritize my girls having plenty of time for playing every day, some days it was hard for me to ask them to stop playing so we could do our structured learning. I decided we would work first and then they would have the rest of the day to play! Now, after breakfast we immediately start school and by 10:30am on most days, we are finished with school work and the girls have the remainder of the day to play. This cuts out on a lot of school time distractions because there are no toys out and our focus is on our structured learning.

2. Morning Routine and Chores

I needed the girls to have a Morning Routine that they were expected to do every single morning! We established this routine: Get dressed, throw diaper away, brush hair, do morning chore, eat breakfast, clear table, help clean up from breakfast, school time! I do still have to do some prodding along. I was hopeful they would do it automatically by now, but they don’t always so I do give some verbal reminders of what is next. Their morning chore is to empty the dishwasher. They do not eat until this is done! They work together to do this and this is SO helpful to me. I’ve struggled to keep up with everything I need to keep up with 3 kids. This helps me so much in the morning. While they empty the dishwasher, I go ahead and fix their breakfast. Then we are all ready to eat together once their morning routine is finished.

3. TV Time in late afternoon and for only 30 minutes.

There was a time when I needed TV time to be during lunch time to cut down on the chaos. Between a baby and getting lunch ready for two girls, I needed the girls occupied while I made their lunch. After moving school time to first thing after breakfast so they could have the rest of the day to play, it made sense to move TV time to late afternoon. I no longer needed the girls watching TV to be able to peaceably get lunch on the table. Now, I usually put on a Praise Baby CD and fix lunch while all three play together. Then, I call everyone to eat. I find they eat less while sitting at the table instead of sitting in front of the TV. This is a good thing because eating just because you are watching something isn’t a good habit. Now they eat their lunch in about 15 minutes (instead of the 45-60 minutes they were watching TV!) and they are back to playing. When you are in Survival Mode, it is easy to go over 30 minutes of TV watching per day. We got into the routine of an hour to an hour and a half. 30 minutes is just right. We do allow for one movie during the weekend but it is contingent on behavior throughout the week and we don’t watch a movie every weekend.

4. Implementation of a schedule for the girls.

While in Survival Mode you aren’t really intentional about anything. I was intentional about getting Sarge well. Everything else happened or didn’t happen. While Dave and I were talking about why things were so crazy with our family, Dave brought up the point that when the girls were really little they were both on a set daily schedule and our days went pretty smooth with two little ones. We decided to implement a schedule with the girls. I will write a post soon about our Updated Homeschool Schedule. It has certainly cut down on the chaos because the girls know what is next and what to expect. That is the beauty of a schedule and, as I have found out, even my 6 and 4 year old benefit from being on a schedule.

5. Strive for “Excellent” Every Day!

Dave started coming home asking the girls if they had an Excellent, Good, Fair or Poor day during school time. We haven’t had a Fair or Poor day since he started doing this! Usually at the dinner table he will ask each girl what they got that day. To get an Excellent there has to be NO complaining or arguing. A Good day is when you complain and argue but after correction you get it together and end up having a pretty good day.

6. Consistent Bedtime Routine for girls.

Our girls just seem to be constantly hyper. They are loud and constantly moving and creating noise and commotion. (Yes, we limit sugar and processed foods.) I am hoping the schedule will reign in some of this craziness. We implemented a Bedtime Routine that happens every night. While I get Sarge to bed Dave reads to the girls. Then they brush teeth, sing songs and pray. By that time I have joined them and we both put them to bed. They now share a room and sleep in bunk beds.

I think it is wise to evaluate the family routines and schedules and see if anything needed to be changed. We needed to make some drastic changes instead of a tweak here and there. After another month of this schedule I think it will feel like the “new normal” to everyone!

- Elaine